Honouring Your Wellbeing Amid Holiday Expectations
by Angie Petrie
The festive season is often painted as a time of joy, togetherness, and celebration. Yet, for many, it also brings a unique set of pressures. Family traditions, social invitations, and the desire to make everyone happy can leave us feeling stretched thin. In the midst of this, setting boundaries—and being able to say no—becomes not just important, but essential for protecting our mental and emotional health.
Understanding Boundaries: Why They Matter
Boundaries are the invisible lines that help us define what we are comfortable with and what we are not. They are not walls, but gentle guidelines that allow us to engage with others while honouring our own needs. During the holidays, these boundaries are often tested as expectations and obligations increase. It’s easy to feel as though we must attend every event, participate in every tradition, and always say “yes” to avoid disappointing others. However, it’s crucial to remember that your comfort and wellbeing are just as important as anyone else’s enjoyment. Setting boundaries is not about shutting people out—it’s about making sure you have the energy and space to show up as your best self.
Practical Ways to Set Boundaries During the Holidays
If you often struggle with saying no or worry about letting others down, it can help to have a few ready-made phrases to lean on. Here are some examples:
- “Thank you for inviting me. I’ll join for dinner but will need some quiet time afterwards.”
- “I appreciate the invite, but I’m not able to attend this year.”
- “I’m feeling overwhelmed, so I’m going to step out for a bit.”
- These statements are clear, honest, and respectful. They acknowledge the invitation, express gratitude, and gently communicate your needs. It’s perfectly okay to tailor these phrases to fit your own voice and situation.
Dealing with Guilt and Pushback
It’s common to feel a pang of guilt when you say no—especially if others don’t immediately understand where you’re coming from. You might worry about being seen as rude or ungrateful. But it’s important to remember that saying no is not an act of selfishness; rather, it’s a vital form of self-care. By protecting your peace, you’re better able to connect authentically with others and enjoy the moments that matter most. If you encounter resistance, remind yourself that it’s okay to prioritise your wellbeing. You’re not responsible for managing everyone’s expectations or emotions. Practising boundary-setting may feel awkward at first, but it becomes easier with time and repetition. Self-Compassion: Supporting Yourself Through the Process
Self-compassion is key to making boundary-setting a positive experience. Recognise that your needs are valid—even if they differ from those around you. Be gentle with yourself if you feel uncomfortable or anxious; these feelings are normal and will pass. If you struggle, consider practising boundary-setting with a trusted friend or counsellor. Role-playing different scenarios can help build confidence. Over time, you’ll find that saying no—and asking for what you need—becomes more natural. Practical Tips for Honouring Your Boundaries
- Plan ahead: Review your diary and decide in advance which events or activities you want to attend. Give yourself permission to decline others.
- Communicate early: Let family and friends know your plans as soon as possible. This helps manage expectations and reduces last-minute stress.
- Listen to your body: Pay attention to signs of fatigue, irritability, or overwhelm. If you need a break, take it—even if it means stepping outside for some air or leaving early.
- Practise self-care: Make time for activities that restore you, such as reading, walking, or simply resting. Your health and happiness are the best gifts you can give yourself.
Final Thoughts: Celebrating Authentically
The holidays are a time for connection, but they should also be a time for self-kindness. By setting clear boundaries and honouring your needs, you make space for authentic joy and meaningful moments. Remember, you have the right to decide how you celebrate—and it’s okay if your choices look different from others’. If you’re finding the festive season challenging, don’t hesitate to reach out for support, whether from a friend, loved one, or professional. Prioritising your wellbeing is not only brave—it’s something to be proud of. This Christmas, give yourself permission to say no, set boundaries, and celebrate in a way that feels right for you.