Is it possible to find Calm Amidst Christmas?

A Warm Guide to Navigating Christmas with ADHD and Autism

by Angie Petrie

Christmas is often portrayed as a magical snow globe—glittering with excitement, laughter and togetherness. Yet for those who are neurodivergent, such as individuals with ADHD and autism, the season can sometimes feel less like a cosy fireside and more like being swept up in a whirlwind of glitter and noise. Instead of warmth, you might sense a flurry of stress swirling about, making it difficult to find calm amidst the festivities. 

The Snowstorm of Sensory Overload

 Imagine stepping into a bustling Christmas party; bright lights twinkle, music dances across the room, and conversations blend into a humming backdrop. For neurodivergent individuals, this can feel like standing in a snowstorm with no shelter, every flake a new sensation to process and someone else is shaking the snow globe and you don’t know how to make it stop. Sparkling decorations, loud laughter, and the unpredictable rhythm of celebrations may create a sensory overload, leaving you with two options to grab the nearest drink and dull your senses using alcohol (coining the phrase ‘alcohol makes Autism Autisn’t) or to run from building screaming and possibly never returning. 

The Tightrope of Social Expectations

 Social expectations during Christmas can be akin to walking a tightrope, balancing between participation and personal comfort. There’s pressure to join group games, make small talk, and maintain a cheerful disposition. For those with ADHD and autism, these demands can heighten anxiety, as navigating unstructured environments and unpredictable social cues often feels exhausting. It’s important to remember that finding your own pace on this tightrope is not only valid—it’s essential. 

Routines Turned Upside Down

 Christmas traditions may come wrapped in good intentions, but they can disrupt important routines, turning your schedule on its head like a sleigh ride gone off course. Sudden changes, late-night gatherings, and spontaneous outings may trigger discomfort or emotional dysregulation. Some might feel as though the familiar landmarks of daily life are buried beneath the snow, making it harder to find your way. 

A Blanket of Understanding: You Are Not Alone

 If you find the festive period tough, know that you’re not alone beneath the wintry sky. Many neurodivergent individuals share these feelings, and it’s entirely reasonable to seek adjustments that make the season more comfortable. Wrapping yourself in a blanket of self-compassion and understanding can help you stay warm, even when the world outside feels cold and overwhelming. 

Top Tips for Navigating Christmas Stress

• Build Your Sanctuary: Identify a quiet space at gatherings—a nook where you can retreat, recharge, and restore your sense of calm, like stepping inside a cosy cabin during a blizzard.
• Pack a Sensory Survival Kit: Bring noise-cancelling headphones, fidget toys, or sunglasses. These tools can act as your mittens and scarf, helping you weather sensory storms.
• Keep Communication Clear: Speak openly with loved ones about your needs and boundaries. A simple phrase such as, “I might need some quiet time after dinner,” can set clear expectations and foster understanding.
• Plan Ahead: Request a copy of the schedule or timeline for the day’s events. Knowing what’s coming can ease anxiety and help you prepare and put in some breaks.
• Preserve Routines Where Possible: Try to maintain familiar routines, whether it’s a morning walk or reading before bed. These anchors help you feel grounded.
• Practise Grounding Techniques: Use deep breathing, counting backwards, or visualising a calming scene. These methods act as sturdy boots, keeping you steady when emotions run high.
• Give Yourself Permission to Step Back: Remember, it’s perfectly acceptable to take breaks from the festivities. Stepping outside for a moment or excusing yourself to a quiet room ensures you prioritise your wellbeing.
• Celebrate Your Way: Choose rituals and traditions that bring you joy and comfort. Whether that’s a small gathering, a favourite film, or simply a peaceful evening, your celebration is valid and meaningful.

This Christmas, let your experience be guided by gentle self-care. Picture yourself as a lantern in the winter night, unique, shining with your own light. With thoughtful planning and supportive boundaries, the festive season can become a time of warmth and acceptance, rather than stress. Reach out for support if you need it, and remember: you deserve a holiday that feels safe, joyful, and authentically yours.